80th -82th days without Sharon ( still sick?)

I finally know that she does not like me blogging about her... She gets angry as long as i blog about her... I might make it a private blog soon enough where no1 will read it anymore except for me... Anyway I forgot what did I want to write for this post... All I remember is I started blogging again because of her but she gets upset everytime she reads it even if I am not talking bad about her.. I made a promise to myself that I will not make her angry or sad anymore so i guess I made the decision to make it a private so that she will not get angry anymore.. Besides that, I wanted to voice out something but I guess is still not suitable yet... Lets see how things goes, the next post will be a longer one because I have lots of things to say...


P.S
Nothing to say as my mind is really empty

79th days without Sharon (Sick = hot and cold)

I guess today post will be very short because some1 ask me to go to bed early... Well my sickness is not getting any better too but I am happy when that special some1 care about me.

This morning after waking up, Ian tell me try to make it for at least sermon and I quickly bath and get changed, but after that Mom ask me to do this and do that, I was like erm erm... Okay okay, What do you wan me to do? After my mom told me what to do, i quickly went to finish up and rush to church.. Lucky i still manage to attend some part of it...

After that went to celebrate Cla's birthday and our plan totally fail when she saw us.. Hope that she still enjoy the whole celebration... After that, we went to shop for her birthday present. The most funny thing is Jasmine Ong bag has a problem entering shops, as she walks out of the shop, the sensor alarm will ring. She got paranoid after 2 times. Anyway Cla din manage to get her bag so we all went back home.

Today had some fun time in pyramid, and the most important thing is that I can see her...Haha, there is 2 people who said that she grew thinner, i guess she is happy after listening to that. All I can say that she is very tired, and I wanted to let her feel comfortable but it turn the other way round, really my bad...

Anyway I guess I really need to train myself to get my tone and words right. I always hurt her feeling unintentionally because I do not know until she show me the face or she tells me.. I am really sorry, I will do my best to change it okay?(need your help to tell me also so that i know)

I guess that's all for today since i promise to sleep early.. nightz

P.S:
I know you are trying very hard in order to make me not so sad and angry
And i really appreciate it, and i will do my best to do my part well
Because I love you more than anything else

43th - 78th days without sharon

Looks like it has been more than a month I did not blog... To be exact is 35 days.. I wanted to blog about it earlier but many things happen like my modem got strike by lightning, I went Singapore and now I am sick...I got so many things to say but I really do not know how to start.. Maybe I start off with the project that i was talking about in the previous post?

I do hope the things that I include and done in the project really helps her especially when I was away at Singapore... I remember the time when I pass the box to her, Sharon told me that I watch too much drama... I just want to let her know that I do not care whether is drama or not as long is for her, I found it worth doing/trying...

How to describe this? I actually feel happy when sometimes she come to look for me first... Just like in Singapore, I manage to go online because I was at my aunt's house and I saw her online on MSN and she nudge me first... I feel so happy but in a way I purposely disturb her and ask her whether she miss me... And I am so happy to hear the answer :P ( hope she do not get angry)

After coming back from Singapore, 1st thing in the morning she sms me just to check whether I am back to malaysia.. Well I am, and without seeing her for about 2-3 weeks I really miss her so much.. Then I suddenly got a chance to see her on thursday at MCD...I was actually starting to get sick but I guess the urge to see her makes me feel that I am not so sick anymore... Although the time is short and she is studying but I do not mind because it is really been sometime that i have not see her...And And I bought her souvenirs, well is actually a pair..Now i have 1 part, and She have 1 part of it...it will become 1 if it is combine.. Of course I hope it is the same with our hearts :p.... I guess thats all for today, I do not know what to write for now as I am sick... Will continue on tomorrow...

P.S :
I am a very random person,
That is why I am special,
But what makes me a random person?
Is you, my little princess,
You are the 1 who made the changes in my life,
And I love it,
Because it is you and only you.

41th, 42th, 43th days without sharon (Hot, Evening)

I am having a real mixed feeling now... I really do not know what to do... Lets start with the previous days first.

On friday, I argue with my mom due to going church and cell group so i ask Sharon to accompany me abit longer after cell and before cell and she did... During that time after cell, we kissed and she did not push me away so I continue on and stuff... I hope that I do not hurt her feelings or stuff because we are not together but to really tell the truth. It was not very great or what but it is because with her which it makes it fantastic. I really miss those day and i hope she feels the same too. That feeling just keep playing in my head and i could not forget it.

Saturday is nothing much just like normal, i thought i would need to fetch her for guitar practice so i woke up earlier and sms her then only i know they cancel it. Anyway, i was not angry or what but I somehow hope that she would tell me so that I do not need to keep waiting whether do I need to fetch anot.

Sunday, everything went well till I knew she went for make up as a model. I feel jealous because it is a guy who fetch her there and is a guy who make up for her. Although i know that guy quite well too but I just do not know why I get jealous. CAN SOME1 TEACH ME HOW TO NOT BE JEALOUS SO EASILY?? I appreciate it very much if anyone of you can teach me. I also get to know that POS will be having practice everyday. Now I will also begin my 502 project and I only have a feel days just hope that i have enough time. I think I will not be blogging so much till the 502 project ends

40th days without sharon (Hot, Night)

I guess today post will be a short one... Anyway nothing happen much today is just that Sharon is overstress already... she do not even have time to take naps... Her eyebags sure grow bigger for now... I really try everything to lessen her burden and stuff but I did not manage to and she say she can handle herself... Later on, she had a food poisoning, i guess is also due to her overstress..I do not know how long can she take it but no matter how I will just do my best to make her not fall sick... Luckily I pass her a packet of chocolates yesterday so now she can have something to munch on.. I guess i really need to step into her life this time so that she will not fall sick again...

P.S: Do your best ya... I cant do much to help but if you really need someone or a shoulder to lean or cry, you know who to call....

37th, 38th, and 39th days without sharon (Cooling, Night)

Again is 3 days only i wrote the blog... Well this is because I am having exams and stuff and my last paper was today.. I still have 1 more which is MUET but I could not study for that as because is it about speaking. Anyway this post i will talk about Broga hill's first.

Well, was at Ian house and most of us did not sleep. For me i got an half an hour sleep because i was very tired if I so not sleep I think I will collapse so we leave Ian house around 4 something and reach the destination at 5.30am. We start climbing and the place was very dark. Until a certain point, I was leading the climb. I notice that i was not only leading my group but all the other strangers as well. Suddenly feel so pressure but the feeling is good. When I start climbing, I only keep thinking about the things ahead and I do not really care about things behind me. Well while climbing I have many mixed feelings with me> After finish climbing I was actually feeling a little disappointed because it cannot really see the sun rise. So i keep trying to get a best shot because I want to show sharon too. After that we went back to Ian house while others went back to theirs. Everyone was dead in their bed except Kai Qin, Ian and me. We attended service but during the service, Ian and Kai Qin fel asleep but I did not. Kai Qin even say I look the most normal among 3 of them. After that, I wnet back and sleep and waited for sharon's call to pick her up. Well, when she called, is was really a heavy rain and my car is inside. In order to get my car i need to move so many cars. Luckily, my dad let me to drive his car. So i pick sharon up and quickly send her home because her mom start scolding. She look thinner again now maybe because of the stress and stuff so I think i must do something to take care of her.

Tuesday, I fetch her back from Elanie's hose after they studied.. Well is my first time seeing her in baju kurang and i think she look better than wearing pinnafore... I know these days she is stress so I bought a chocolate for her again to give her some encouragement... During the night, there is some1 disturbing her, if i not mistaken is a malay guy. She got scared so i called her to tell her everything is alright and if the guy call again I ask her to tell me. After that, I ask her to go to sleep. Signing off

34th, 35th and 36th days without sharon (normal , Night) (At Ian house)

Is 3 days again and now its getting to the peak where I am at the most stressful and tired. I tend to send some message to Sharon when I am smsing her but in an uncounsious state which means that I am half asleep and I will say things that is not good? Well is basically what my heart feel but is just that I did not tell her about it because i think she will get pressure or bored when she reads it. This is because normally after we discuss about this topic, we will sure argue but this time I suit her. She wanted to know the content on what i wrote and i send it to her and i suit her where she does not know what to say then i tell her not to say anything. Although I really want to hear an answer which is where she is willing to accept me back. Anyway is not to say that i gave up on her or something but I just feel like I need to respect her more in this sense. I want to her to be my girlfriend again so i can really fully loved her and protect her because there is a limit where i can go when we are just friends but I will also do my very best even if we are just friends. This morning, I was actually worried that I will really lose her in a way that she got to know a new guy. What is wrong with me? Too paranoid i guess...

Just now was the first time that she gave so much opinion on certain stuff and I was shocked. It nearly reach a part where I nearly wanted to argue with her because she keep asking me to go home to rest because i was tired but isnt she doing the same thing? Attending church service even though she was tired? I thought of these factors because of my tiredness and my mind is not thinking rationally. Anyway I did not argue with her at all because I think that she is caring for me where she do not want me to broke down and want me to have suffiecient rest. Love you bie, no matter what you mean in that.

Wow, with this state of mind I actually do not know what am i writing, was half blur due to my condition now but is basically my true feelings. This blog was for me to spit out my true feelings especially for her to read it,since she want to know so much about me. After watching few drama I am only jut a month plus away but in the drama they waited for years and years so I guess I need to be more patience till she accept me again.

P.S : Although I am tired but I am willing to sacrifice some of my rest time just to make you happy. I do not care what will happen in the future but what i care is now where I will Love and protect you as much as I can