Saturday, November 22, 2008

Improvement of my life

Before i start my post, i would like to wish my cousin HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY!!!The 1 on the right is Eliz which is her birthday ^^
From left: Ally, Chole, Aunty, Dilan, Eliz, (my father friend child)
Pretty, handsome and cute little people...I miss my olden days too...


Okay so as i said Wednesday i went to true fitness and the personal trainer push more than my limit, the leg exercise was not that bad but the topper part of my body could not take it. I did 80 Pumping(yes 80) and roughly more than 40 chest press. After all the training i could hardly lift my hand straight up. I am feeling pain in every part of my body and somehow i love this pain,

That is 1 of the improvement, the next 1 is I finally took the initiative to study willingly. I guess my friend will get shocked when they see this, this is because I do not really study willingly, I normally study to pass or when someone challenge me to get good grades but now I can study willingly and very motivated to study. Hope this mood will last. Anyway I wan to start relax a while more then I will go study and I will grow stronger too.

Monday, November 17, 2008

A pieces of my past and present life

Well i guess i am starting to like blogging. I remember that i say its a waste of time blogging but I could only express myself through blogging and it makes me slightly happier.
I guess the previous post(third post) is very messy and hard to understand because i was too emotional and did not really include the real exact details in it. Anyway you guys can just skip that post.
I remember once i said if i found a girl that i truly love i will stop gaming but i am still a bit blur whether she is the one, the more i get to know her the more i feel is impossible to have her. Maybe because i lack of confidence which i always do. This is because every time i regain my confidence, someone will be there to break it. I guess is time that i should get my confidence back and not having anyone to break it. God is also helping me in way, this morning A guy from true fitness call and ask me to go for the appointment for gym and is a 1 week free trials. Hahaha......
I have not stated that 'she' is having exam next week so i did not wan to bother her and at the mean time i can go gym do workout so that i will also be able to regain my confidence back.

Besides that, I need to start studying as my exams are coming. I am finding study group, anyone want to join me???

Anyway i wish 'her' all the best for her exam. As for me, i must not give up trying to regain my confidence...

Saturday, November 15, 2008

A secret I could not tell

Today C say she was disappointed at me after i told her about my past relationship with my ex.
She say i did not put enough effort in the relationship. No doubt she is right, I really did not put enough effort but i really took the initiative to put effort in it. For all my past relationship, this is the 1 that i have put in the most effort but yet i still got blame. After that, C say that i am using my ex just to get out of my responsibilities. I really have nothing to say when she say that, i somehow felt that my effort for what i do is a big waste. They always think that I am so free and i have nothing to do but is the other way round. I am NOT GOD i need time to rest, i thought people and even god always say do not expect anything good in return when you do something but they did not say that expect something bad in return!!!!
I know that something bad like this would happen if i do this but i really did not expect it will turn out this bad. I really have no idea who to share my problems, this betraying or maybe a trusting thing have always been affecting me since std 6 and i just could not get over it and it is happening again now. I remember C and J always say i can trust them and i nearly did fully trust them but what they show me is the other way. I have so much burden on me, I know to some of you people it is just normal but I could not take it. I have burden of klang camp committee, KL camp committee, Student Council, my coll life( assignment etc), Cell group, friends and the most burden come from my friends. I bet you guys will say if you could not handle it, why do you take up so many things. To tell you all, I did reject some of it but they just keep forcing me and say that the other thing is a small thing, this is more important. If everyone say that then which is the most important thing??? I DO NOT EVEN HAVE TIME FOR MYSELF!!!! Even my sleep I just only sleep 2-4 hours a day (this is why my friends always say why do you always look so sleepy). I have dreams and academic standard, that i want to achieve but all these burden keeps me away from it. Even some people ask me i thought you like basketball alot, why i do not see you coming to play anymore?? I have to rebel what my heart say and tell Nope since when i like basketball??? ( this is only 1 of the example) People always ask me try to achieve it slowly and i did, but what did i get from my friends, they say that why are you suddenly so Irresponsible????
After talking to C, i know why i broke up with my ex. It is because of the burden, i find it as a burden and not the feeling when i first started the relationship with her. This is why i started to give up on her and let her go. Maybe i need to go find my ex and just be frank with her about it.
I guess C does not want to talk to me anymore after feeling disappointed in me. I just hope that time will heal our friendship.

WHEN WILL I BE ABLE TO GET MY TIMEOUT???

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Sad, but A new beginning of a happy life

Well like what i said in the previous post, i have many emotional story but i will cut it short. Well, there is this 2 girls which is C and J always thinking that i am such a irresponsible person but i was actually covering for them when ever they did something wrong and they do not know anything about it. Okay i admit it is because that i did not wan to let them know anything. I did know that it would bug me when they accuse saying i did not do anything. They do not say thank you to me is alright but they accuse me saying that i am irresponsible. I admit i really did overslept during the freshie party event but i am just human, and i really could not take it. I just do not understand why when other people overslept, they think they are doing something important and sure has to do with big projects. I also have many important things to do and what i do is not anything about me is about other people. Anyway, the most stunning thing was i did not expect Justin to know that what i have done, he knows about me covering the hole of other post. I guess if people are observant enough they will know even if how u hide it.

Remember what i said in my first post??? I was doing my assignment Wednesday morning and suddenly a my phone ring i got shocked cause i was concentrating on my assignment it was her sending msg to me telling me that it was her annual dinner and complaining that during the W11 outing too many mosquito bite her making her not pretty. As the chat goes on, i ask her the place of her annual dinner and she answer and ask why and whether i wan to fetch her back. Then i did offer her too and I ended up agree to fetch her back. After my gym class, i try to delay time because she have not call me, i just do not believe it that i can be patiently waiting for it. I guess people change when you meet different people...So i send her friend ( which is also my friend) and her back to her hostel. When we reached the hostel, she asked me to wait as she want to pass me back the towel that i lend to her. Instead of me rushing back after getting the towel, I stayed and chat with her a while until i forgot the time.
Besides J which i have always been helping, lending a hand no matter how tired i am, I found out that there is another person which i can actually do it but the feeling is totally different. For her is like a very happy thing for me which makes me willingly to do it but for J is the other wise. Anyway, i just do not want to mess things up with her yet. I do not want to jump into conclusion so quickly which might affect our friendship because this is my first time expericing this feeling.
Need to go now is 3am, later at 4 i need to see my mom as she is going overseas and i need to wake her up at 5. ^^

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Weee, I started to blog

Its my first time blogging about my life so if i have any errors please do forgive me okay??
And if you do not like reading about it, you can just leave because this is all about my life and is private blog.

Here goes, W11 outing had just finish on Sunday and guess what i met a girl who is studying nursing...In the beginning we just introduce ourselves to get to know each and everyone of us in the w11 outing combo. In order to get things started, Ian and the guys throw me in the pool 1st, I knew that was coming and I evaded that but is 5 guys on 1 how can I run XD...After many hours of bbq, we plan to go back and swim again and during a period of time Elanie got angry and shouted at us asking that why arent we listening to her(She was looking for the UIU firsbee),Sorry Elanie...
Okay back to the story about the girl, Ian borught a few poles which function like a water gun so I use it and bring it to the bbq area, I actually intend to only spray abit but there is people resisting and I accidently spary the water at that girl(I will just call that girl ting okay?). Since it is late, we decided to change and go home when I took out my towel, Ting went like i have no towel so I lend her mine and we start to chit chat more after that. Before going back we even exchange numbers HAHA but do not get me wrong i took her number just because my towel was with her and of course i need to get it back (Okay I admit i have some feeling for her)

The next day which is Monday, she sms me and we started to sms each other. The question she kept asking me was my age and i did not tell her. Ended up she gave up and she asked me to add her in msn. Well is 3.40am in the morning and i have thinking the whole day is this feeling just this moment of time, is it just because of lust or is she the one??? I hope I have the answer but i guess i will know the answer after i get to know her better. Not forgetting she is older than me by 1 or 2 age i guess, since i did not tell my age i also did not wan to ask hers. ^^


There is many emotional post that i would like to post but since it is my first time, I decided to scrap of the idea and post about this girl i met...

P.S : My emotional post have never really been reveal to anyone so if you want to know more about my secrets stay tune for the coming post.