KCBA youth camp (part 3)

Pictures speak a thousand words and here it is what i normally do during free time in the camp. Wen Sern's Product.Got so tired in the end. Anyway next post D2YC youth camp.

KCBA youth camp (part2)

Me and my candle night dinner partner, Samantha

My candle night dinner partner, Samantha(that night itself)

Ravin, Me, Tuck Long (What we do best during free time)

Candle night dinner food (vegetarian)

So this is part 2, there is a night in the camp where we need to find a date for candle night dinner. Some committees and me were ready to play which we let other committee choose our partner but suddenly Jessy said we cannot do that and we need to pick the left over one for our partner. First person to get partner was ShinD then Leonie (my sis), follow by tuck long after that I lost the sequence but mine was during water war. Proud to have Sam as my partner though. We begin chit chatting after we sat down and we click easily. I get to know that she is a big fan of DBSK and she is a good swimmer too( I will never wan to swim with her). After that night we still keep in touch till now and we sms everyday 24/7(abit too much) was just making it sound so much. I have some pictures of me doing some dance move but is with quan wei, sob. Anyway after that i rush back home early to prepare my next camp which is D2YC. I will state it in the new post.

KCBA youth camp (part1)

Okay I know I have not been publishing post for sometime so here is the update...
Suppose to be with this group but this year i am the committee, too bad

Shutterflash product

Shutterflash product

My pillow during camp!!!(cute le)


Well this is KCBA camp...haha
Been working hard for all the time...
The first day of camp was hectic, me and tuck long need to go to Giant to buy Watermelon and 500ml bottle water for participants...I never get to interact around, no!!!!
Everything went fine...this is the picture that I took during camp. No worries, there is more to come. I love the pillow so much especially the hello kitty one. I been using it for all my naps and not ashame of it. Okay time for part 2

Off for 2 weeks

Today I will be going to Klang for a camp till Sunday, then i will need to rush to KL for another camp. Sigh so many camps and i forgot to mention, I am a organizing committee for both camps ( hope I can last long enough). I will miss my home the most sob. All of a sudden, I do not feel like going to all these camp, I feel like staying at home doing what I want but a promise is a promise and I will never neglect my responsibilities. So no matter how not willingly I am or how sick I become, I will and I must finish the task.

Yesterday night, I chatted with my her(my crush) a while. She asked me to sleep early but i just come online so we start chatting and she told me that she will be shifting hostel on the 19th of december, I asked her whether she need my help but she answer and say I thought you got camp to handle??? Then I answer her there is a will there is a way. ^^

Anyway need to prepare for camps now. Will be leaving in 1 hours time. Going to miss my home.

Practice

Today after the exam 1 whole group went to pyramid's redbox to sing. There are few good singers like Justin, Jason and May. I guess guys with J can sing well? hahaha. Anyway, I did not intend to go but Justin force me and say if you want to learn how to sing, you need to go and start something. So i ended up going and slowly sing in the end. Not to say my voice was the worst there I guess, as i could not sing. I will practice as much as possible to improve. By the way i got 2 teachers, May and Justin. I really thank them so much to sacrifice their time to teach me sing as I do not have any background of singing so it will be tough for them to teach me.

What makes me want to be a better singer out of a sudden??? I do have a purpose but not telling it out. Anyway it is 3am and I am still practicing(started singing since 1 am) as since is late and people will not be able to hear me sing. I am going back to practice again will be uploading next post after camp maybe or after my next practice at redbox.

Nightmare(dream)

This morning I have a dream. Yup it is a nightmare. The dream seem so real to me that my body actually react to the dream. Well here is how the story goes......

When I woke up in the morning, I change from my room to my parents room to sleep. As you guys parents room are the master bedroom so is more comfortable.( This is where the dream starts). I got up and saw through my parents room window, I saw a bunch of people taking old lady who leaves opposite my house to a big truck. I feel weird so I observed and i notice that they are having gun and forcing that old lady to get it the truck.( I forgot some part of the story). Suddenly, I saw the same bunch of people kidnapping the girl that I love away. I quickly chase that truck and to get her back but I cannot reach it. I quickly rush back home and call the police then i call some people on my phone list to help. I even tell my dad about this incident but my dad take his own sweet time to do things as if is not his problem(I dint tell him that the girl i love was kidnap). I got frustrated and call other people which is Mr queck( my ex bm tuition teacher). He ask me to get the police again and he will be right over. When I hang up, that gang of people call and they told me : " You will not be able to call the police now, We have capture your best friend which is an IT wizard to cut off all connections to the helpline and if you try to seek help, we will treat your lover in a "GOOD" condition." After this conversation, they hang up.Of course the 1st thing that come into my mind that they will treat her is gang rape and torture. So i quickly ran down and ask my father for help but my dad just will not care and take his meal. I ran out from the house and try finding her and keep shouting but I just have no idea where they bring her to. I was so depress that i cried and thinking of what they will do to her.

This is where I woke up from my dream. Why did I say it seem so real to me?? First the kidnappers kidnap the people I know and when I woke up, I feel terrible pain in my throat and my eyes are watery. I also sms her when I woke up when i saw her reply then i went back to sleep. I feel like I cannot lose her and will do anything to get her back but the point is she is not even my girlfriend. Anyway this still gives me goosebumps, and it also motivate me to be stronger so that i can protect the 1 I love.

Sudden feeling of Fear (depressing mood)

See how happy they are ( we woke up so early just to celebrate for them, 6am le)
So many presents....and she is not touch at all
This is not how the way you a cut cake Sharon
Wish and wish and wish ....
Woke jeremy up in the morning(stupid lock) if not sure sabo you
Wishing time!!!!

Happy Birthday Sharon and Jeremy!!!!

Okay so i start to feel fear in me in my studies and also the feel of depression. Like I told some of my friends, I can somehow feel J emotion and i just do not know how. When she feel uncomfortable, I will feel it too. I try to not think about her, try not to see her at all but the feeling is just too strong, too strong till I cannot take it. What should I do??? Since the past 3 months I been helping her secretly and she does not know anything about it(thanks to my friends who help me and did not tell her anything about it) but this time it gone worst. I know by doing this, it will affect our relationship but for her future it will definitely help her. Maybe there is some other alternative that I should try??? Should I tell her that i have been helping her secretly all these while???

This is the first time that I actually worried about my studies. Something really got into me and i feel pressure. My holidays will not be holidays too. I guess I need time to rest. I am planing to have a part of my memory lost. WHO wants to join this mission??? At least there is someone when i think of makes me feel slightly better but both our relationship has long way to go and if i really want to get into this relationship, we both really need to put effort.(she knows about me and I knows about her).
Anyway really got to study now.


Comment on the post or drop your name if you want to join the LOSE MEMORY MISSION.

Improvement of my life

Before i start my post, i would like to wish my cousin HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY!!!The 1 on the right is Eliz which is her birthday ^^
From left: Ally, Chole, Aunty, Dilan, Eliz, (my father friend child)
Pretty, handsome and cute little people...I miss my olden days too...


Okay so as i said Wednesday i went to true fitness and the personal trainer push more than my limit, the leg exercise was not that bad but the topper part of my body could not take it. I did 80 Pumping(yes 80) and roughly more than 40 chest press. After all the training i could hardly lift my hand straight up. I am feeling pain in every part of my body and somehow i love this pain,

That is 1 of the improvement, the next 1 is I finally took the initiative to study willingly. I guess my friend will get shocked when they see this, this is because I do not really study willingly, I normally study to pass or when someone challenge me to get good grades but now I can study willingly and very motivated to study. Hope this mood will last. Anyway I wan to start relax a while more then I will go study and I will grow stronger too.

A pieces of my past and present life

Well i guess i am starting to like blogging. I remember that i say its a waste of time blogging but I could only express myself through blogging and it makes me slightly happier.
I guess the previous post(third post) is very messy and hard to understand because i was too emotional and did not really include the real exact details in it. Anyway you guys can just skip that post.
I remember once i said if i found a girl that i truly love i will stop gaming but i am still a bit blur whether she is the one, the more i get to know her the more i feel is impossible to have her. Maybe because i lack of confidence which i always do. This is because every time i regain my confidence, someone will be there to break it. I guess is time that i should get my confidence back and not having anyone to break it. God is also helping me in way, this morning A guy from true fitness call and ask me to go for the appointment for gym and is a 1 week free trials. Hahaha......
I have not stated that 'she' is having exam next week so i did not wan to bother her and at the mean time i can go gym do workout so that i will also be able to regain my confidence back.

Besides that, I need to start studying as my exams are coming. I am finding study group, anyone want to join me???

Anyway i wish 'her' all the best for her exam. As for me, i must not give up trying to regain my confidence...

A secret I could not tell

Today C say she was disappointed at me after i told her about my past relationship with my ex.
She say i did not put enough effort in the relationship. No doubt she is right, I really did not put enough effort but i really took the initiative to put effort in it. For all my past relationship, this is the 1 that i have put in the most effort but yet i still got blame. After that, C say that i am using my ex just to get out of my responsibilities. I really have nothing to say when she say that, i somehow felt that my effort for what i do is a big waste. They always think that I am so free and i have nothing to do but is the other way round. I am NOT GOD i need time to rest, i thought people and even god always say do not expect anything good in return when you do something but they did not say that expect something bad in return!!!!
I know that something bad like this would happen if i do this but i really did not expect it will turn out this bad. I really have no idea who to share my problems, this betraying or maybe a trusting thing have always been affecting me since std 6 and i just could not get over it and it is happening again now. I remember C and J always say i can trust them and i nearly did fully trust them but what they show me is the other way. I have so much burden on me, I know to some of you people it is just normal but I could not take it. I have burden of klang camp committee, KL camp committee, Student Council, my coll life( assignment etc), Cell group, friends and the most burden come from my friends. I bet you guys will say if you could not handle it, why do you take up so many things. To tell you all, I did reject some of it but they just keep forcing me and say that the other thing is a small thing, this is more important. If everyone say that then which is the most important thing??? I DO NOT EVEN HAVE TIME FOR MYSELF!!!! Even my sleep I just only sleep 2-4 hours a day (this is why my friends always say why do you always look so sleepy). I have dreams and academic standard, that i want to achieve but all these burden keeps me away from it. Even some people ask me i thought you like basketball alot, why i do not see you coming to play anymore?? I have to rebel what my heart say and tell Nope since when i like basketball??? ( this is only 1 of the example) People always ask me try to achieve it slowly and i did, but what did i get from my friends, they say that why are you suddenly so Irresponsible????
After talking to C, i know why i broke up with my ex. It is because of the burden, i find it as a burden and not the feeling when i first started the relationship with her. This is why i started to give up on her and let her go. Maybe i need to go find my ex and just be frank with her about it.
I guess C does not want to talk to me anymore after feeling disappointed in me. I just hope that time will heal our friendship.

WHEN WILL I BE ABLE TO GET MY TIMEOUT???

Sad, but A new beginning of a happy life

Well like what i said in the previous post, i have many emotional story but i will cut it short. Well, there is this 2 girls which is C and J always thinking that i am such a irresponsible person but i was actually covering for them when ever they did something wrong and they do not know anything about it. Okay i admit it is because that i did not wan to let them know anything. I did know that it would bug me when they accuse saying i did not do anything. They do not say thank you to me is alright but they accuse me saying that i am irresponsible. I admit i really did overslept during the freshie party event but i am just human, and i really could not take it. I just do not understand why when other people overslept, they think they are doing something important and sure has to do with big projects. I also have many important things to do and what i do is not anything about me is about other people. Anyway, the most stunning thing was i did not expect Justin to know that what i have done, he knows about me covering the hole of other post. I guess if people are observant enough they will know even if how u hide it.

Remember what i said in my first post??? I was doing my assignment Wednesday morning and suddenly a my phone ring i got shocked cause i was concentrating on my assignment it was her sending msg to me telling me that it was her annual dinner and complaining that during the W11 outing too many mosquito bite her making her not pretty. As the chat goes on, i ask her the place of her annual dinner and she answer and ask why and whether i wan to fetch her back. Then i did offer her too and I ended up agree to fetch her back. After my gym class, i try to delay time because she have not call me, i just do not believe it that i can be patiently waiting for it. I guess people change when you meet different people...So i send her friend ( which is also my friend) and her back to her hostel. When we reached the hostel, she asked me to wait as she want to pass me back the towel that i lend to her. Instead of me rushing back after getting the towel, I stayed and chat with her a while until i forgot the time.
Besides J which i have always been helping, lending a hand no matter how tired i am, I found out that there is another person which i can actually do it but the feeling is totally different. For her is like a very happy thing for me which makes me willingly to do it but for J is the other wise. Anyway, i just do not want to mess things up with her yet. I do not want to jump into conclusion so quickly which might affect our friendship because this is my first time expericing this feeling.
Need to go now is 3am, later at 4 i need to see my mom as she is going overseas and i need to wake her up at 5. ^^

Weee, I started to blog

Its my first time blogging about my life so if i have any errors please do forgive me okay??
And if you do not like reading about it, you can just leave because this is all about my life and is private blog.

Here goes, W11 outing had just finish on Sunday and guess what i met a girl who is studying nursing...In the beginning we just introduce ourselves to get to know each and everyone of us in the w11 outing combo. In order to get things started, Ian and the guys throw me in the pool 1st, I knew that was coming and I evaded that but is 5 guys on 1 how can I run XD...After many hours of bbq, we plan to go back and swim again and during a period of time Elanie got angry and shouted at us asking that why arent we listening to her(She was looking for the UIU firsbee),Sorry Elanie...
Okay back to the story about the girl, Ian borught a few poles which function like a water gun so I use it and bring it to the bbq area, I actually intend to only spray abit but there is people resisting and I accidently spary the water at that girl(I will just call that girl ting okay?). Since it is late, we decided to change and go home when I took out my towel, Ting went like i have no towel so I lend her mine and we start to chit chat more after that. Before going back we even exchange numbers HAHA but do not get me wrong i took her number just because my towel was with her and of course i need to get it back (Okay I admit i have some feeling for her)

The next day which is Monday, she sms me and we started to sms each other. The question she kept asking me was my age and i did not tell her. Ended up she gave up and she asked me to add her in msn. Well is 3.40am in the morning and i have thinking the whole day is this feeling just this moment of time, is it just because of lust or is she the one??? I hope I have the answer but i guess i will know the answer after i get to know her better. Not forgetting she is older than me by 1 or 2 age i guess, since i did not tell my age i also did not wan to ask hers. ^^


There is many emotional post that i would like to post but since it is my first time, I decided to scrap of the idea and post about this girl i met...

P.S : My emotional post have never really been reveal to anyone so if you want to know more about my secrets stay tune for the coming post.