Well suddenly thought of the show "Heart of Greed" where they broke up and the guy starting writing about the days without his girlfriend.. lets see how long can i do this :)
Its been exact 11 days where we broke up..and the day we broke up is our 4th month anniversary.... I was so regret that I was too late to solve the problem between us... I am willing to sacrifice anything just to get that day to fix the problem but is just too late.. Even just by thinking of it makes me feel really sad..but is all over at least we are still communicating with each other now and we share many things that we did not share when we are together.
During the process, we even argue about what we did not like about each other and i remember the day was Thursday...Friday was cell group and I pick her up and her friends.. We seem like we are normal and doing things what we usually do when we are together but the is a wall putting that we are not together.. After CG Ian went to look for her and ask her about many things and when she joined in to my CG i can feel an uncomfortable aura coming and i saw sharon.. At first i thought is just something wrong with me but as time pass this feeling cant go away so i decide to leave due to it and also my mom wants me to be back.. Before i leave the house I was actually waiting... Waiting for what? I was waiting for her to ask whether she want to follow me back? It did not happen so I leave... When i finally got home I text her and ask her whether there is something wrong? She answer yea, so it make sense that i can sense the discomfort in her.. and I got to know that she actually want to go home she wanted to ask me to send her back but she did not...Communication break down!!! I was waiting for her and she was waiting for me...This is really like in the drama...well i learn my lesson, next time i will ask...
Saturday.. I wake her up for jungle trekking but she woke up before i manage to wake her... and time pass and i text her asking how was it and the conversation continues... This time i requested for her to text me first and she did, in a way i really want her to appreciate me so i did that...She was stress and afraid so i try to find ways to help her get through it but it was not really successful even I did not manage to make her happy.. For that moment I really gone blank, I really do not know what to do but i think of something and manage to make a smile little... I think if i were there beside her things will be different but i cant... Now we finally conclude that we will be going SVC together tomorrow...Although I am not her boyfriend and i might not be able to get her back especially if i do all these but I just could stop because I love her too much.. I could not bear to see her suffer... Anyway lets see how things goes tomorrow... Got to get to bed.. need to have full concentration to make her happy
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