On someone's demand

Well, I am actually quite lazy to update my blog but since so many people keep asking i will find something to post...

On friday which is 3 or 4 days ago, I went to City Harvest Church drama production and the title of the production is "Will you marry me". The storyline is good and of course the actor and actresses are brilliant which make the whole production a success. The story was so touching that it actually touch so many people's heart including myself especially when the main actor's mom pass away. This really inspire me to appreciate people who loves you rather then mourn for the people that does not care for you.

Anyway, just hope that my life will get better as time pass and slowly regain back what i should be doing and be on track in my life....For now i guess the only thing i can do is do preserve myself and pray....


P.S
Do you know how much I miss you?

Something I found out about me

Have not been updating my blog cause I do not want to...Many people are starting to read my blog and i might offend them without me knowing....After going through some checkups, i am having anxiety disorder and it has been hunting me for the past 1 month and I do not like the feeling... I need treatment and I am undergoing it.

When I was going through treatment, I notice many things about me.... All these while I have not really do anything for myself. I study for my mom, I desperately wan a girlfriend because I want my mom and my grandmother to be happy. I do so many things because of the 2 important people in my life until i neglect mine. I should start doing things for myself,not for them.

The 2nd, I need to be loved...when I was going through i know that I want someone to loved me because I lack of love since long ago till i forgot when it was the last time. Besides that, I guess what goes around comes around...I will never be able to get the person that I might fall for...


Besides the above, I want to get my life out of my college friends life...They might always think in their heart that I might offend them but do you all put yourself in my shoe and think. I am very dissapointed especially those who believe in other people rather than me and u call that friends. I am so sorry but i guess if that is what you think, our frienship is over. People asked for help and i tried to help and i got scolding, that is just so good...I got the blame , I got the scolding and i am the 1 need to apologize...The funniest thing on earth, and I did apologize because i really put friendship as my frist priority but I guess this will be my last. I just really could not trust any1, I am so sorry...I tried but i been hurt 5 times already and is different people, i just have a barrier there...


I do not have the mood to play games anymore, maybe is because the promise that i have made? I do not have the fire or the eager to actually play the games where I was very good at it, I some sort like give up...


I so badly want to cry but my tears could never come out, I want to do so is because when my tears come out at least i might heal abit but i just could not cry!!!

On monday there was a BBQ party when i send my friends back I saw the mter went up high, I stopped and fix it, i actually thought of why not i just dissappear like dat but I just could not do it, I cant afford to make my mom worry plus my friends are with me I must send them home safely even if it cost anything...I wander if i just dissappear will any1 actually notice? Will any1 find out what happen?? Will it actually make a difference? Will some1 actually feel guilty? Will some1 regret for not telling me something? Will my friends regret that they did nto spend time with me? There is just so many question that I could not answer..

I just want to forget all the bad experience but why I just cant...anyway I better go to sleep before my parents wake up..


P.S
I tried so hard and do everything I could,
But I just could not get what I wanted,
Which is actually you.

Recipe to bake a chocolate cake

Items needed
1 cup cocoa powder - sieve
1 cup water
1/2 cup Castor sugar
6 eggs
350g Castor Sugar
250g butter
250g self raising flour (sieve)
1 tsp vanilla essence
1 tsp baking powder (optional)

toppings
1 tin condensed milk (small)
1 cup cocoa powder
1/4 cup corn oil
pinch of salt
2 tbsp. vanilla essence

Method
1. Mix cocoa powder, water and sugar together to form smooth paste
2. Beat together butter and sugar until light and fluffy.
Add eggs one at the time and beat it well
3. Add vanilla essence and told in flour
4. Lastly mix in cocao paste and mix well
5. Divide mixture in 2 tin and bake in moderate oven for 30 mins (2 for 45 mins) (170 Celsius)
P.S: make sure u change the position if you baked 2 cakes, make sure that they are evenly heated
(Important note:Make sure the cake is cool first before going adding the toppings)

Toppings
1. Dip all the topping ingredients together until smooth and shiny.
2. Spread some of the mixture on one of the cakes and sandwich with other.
3. Spread remaining topping on top of the cake.
P.S: You may design it as you like

Thanks to Cla's mom which actually take me as her own son and give me this recipe.
Lucky she explain over to me on how to bake it so now when i explain to you all I can make it clearer.


P.S
Do I always know??
No, I don't.
But I believe the day will come

Unlucky moment and friends

Since Friday, I have been really unlucky in stuff and things that I do. Even the things I do best, I cant manage to do it . Even gaming, I keep losing and could not manage to win. Well there is one chance where I could actually win but you know what happen?? The electricity go off and out of so many houses, my house is the 1 that got pick....

Well is been 5 days now, since it happen, how can my life be any worst than this?? Somehow, I am actually very happy that all these happen. Why is it so? I do not know myself but I am really feeling happy. Hahahaha

I got to know a new friend form college last Friday, she come from Miri. So we mingle around and I know that she just move to usj2 which is my housing area. The most weirdest past is I only got to know that she is my neighbor TODAY. OMG, after 5 days I only know that she is my neighbor, really unexpected. Well, made a new friend and a neighbor, her family will be leaving her tommorow. After that, I guess I will be the 1 taking care of her, since she is new here. Friends suppose to take care of each other right? Just hope that this friend will be worth taking care off.. :P


P.S
As Long As I have A Single Breath,
I Will Never Give Up

Dota or GF (copy from my brother's blog)

DOTA vs GF.. Enjoy~~

DOTA, it's one and only in the world,

GF, there's a lot.
GF will leave you,

DOTA will never leave you.

GF gets mad when you play dota,

DOTA doesn't get mad when you have gf.

DOTA has a cheap price,

GF wants a high price.

when you get to see other hero, DOTA doesn't get mad,

when you get to see other girls, GF gets mad.

GF, when you leave her, it's hard to come back,

DOTA, when you leave, it's still be there when you come back.

what do you want, DOTA or GF?

think now...

GF: "why, can DOTA do romantic things to you?"

DOTA: "Why, can GF give triple enjoyment when you do TRIPLE KILL?"

GF: "Why, can DOTA make you complete as a man?"

DOTA: "Why, can Gf make a man GODLIKE?"

But they have 1 thing in common,

it is when they are always there when you have a problem.

When you lose in DOTA, who can make you happy, GF right?

When you have a problem with your GF, who can make you happy, DOTA right?

hehe~~

hope u enjoy..~~

Who/What am I???

I really could not tell....anyone have an idea of who I am???

My primary teacher,tuition teacher, secondary teacher, and some of friends tells me that I am actually a very smart and capable in anything kind of people as long as I am willing to commit and sacrifice, they say they are 100% sure I will be much better than other people...

I have been getting this since i was young till now but i just do not know where my true self is...How come I able to know so many things that is happening, how come i can feel some people feelings...Why am I having this so call "gift"??? I just do not understand, what is the purpose of me born? What is the purpose of me living???

Some people know that I am doing things for people, things meaning their homework, their personal stuff, etc. I sometimes do it till I am not able to do mine... Many people have advise/scolded me before but i still just continue doing it... Why do I continue?? I always say that this is the last time i will do it but i just continue doing it..why why why??

Many people say that they are just using me...In a way I am their MR."Right Now" not MR. "right" If I really stop doing all these will I still have my friends?
If I stop doing all these, will I able to find my true self?
If I stop doing all these, will I be able to achieve my dreams?

So many questions that me myself could not answer...

Why do good people have do die young, If just I am able to transfer my life span to you, I would do it with any cost that is going to happen to me...I dont mind what will happen to me as long as you can live a longer and happy life.


P.S :
Next time do not say,
Everything is impossible...
Why is it so???
Cause even the word impossible said I Am Possible...

Responsibilities

I guess the older I grow the more responsibilities i have...especially at home..
Why is it so??
1) I need to do more housework(hang cloths,bring in cloths,wash plate, etc)
2) I become driver. (fetch sis and dad)
3) I need to stay at home when no one is around (which means, i am the only person at home)
4) I need to do things on my own like settling bank stuff or petrol road tax etc.
5) I start to help my dad collect stuff from places (if i know the place)
6) When any of my family members want to use the comp, i will let them use.
7) I am still a mama boy where my mom say no, i will say no too...(haix)

Anyway, I guess I am starting to get girls fobia back...Please dont tell me I am becoming gay....


P.S
Life is short,
Live life to the fullest