Sunday, April 25, 2010

34th, 35th and 36th days without sharon (normal , Night) (At Ian house)

Is 3 days again and now its getting to the peak where I am at the most stressful and tired. I tend to send some message to Sharon when I am smsing her but in an uncounsious state which means that I am half asleep and I will say things that is not good? Well is basically what my heart feel but is just that I did not tell her about it because i think she will get pressure or bored when she reads it. This is because normally after we discuss about this topic, we will sure argue but this time I suit her. She wanted to know the content on what i wrote and i send it to her and i suit her where she does not know what to say then i tell her not to say anything. Although I really want to hear an answer which is where she is willing to accept me back. Anyway is not to say that i gave up on her or something but I just feel like I need to respect her more in this sense. I want to her to be my girlfriend again so i can really fully loved her and protect her because there is a limit where i can go when we are just friends but I will also do my very best even if we are just friends. This morning, I was actually worried that I will really lose her in a way that she got to know a new guy. What is wrong with me? Too paranoid i guess...

Just now was the first time that she gave so much opinion on certain stuff and I was shocked. It nearly reach a part where I nearly wanted to argue with her because she keep asking me to go home to rest because i was tired but isnt she doing the same thing? Attending church service even though she was tired? I thought of these factors because of my tiredness and my mind is not thinking rationally. Anyway I did not argue with her at all because I think that she is caring for me where she do not want me to broke down and want me to have suffiecient rest. Love you bie, no matter what you mean in that.

Wow, with this state of mind I actually do not know what am i writing, was half blur due to my condition now but is basically my true feelings. This blog was for me to spit out my true feelings especially for her to read it,since she want to know so much about me. After watching few drama I am only jut a month plus away but in the drama they waited for years and years so I guess I need to be more patience till she accept me again.

P.S : Although I am tired but I am willing to sacrifice some of my rest time just to make you happy. I do not care what will happen in the future but what i care is now where I will Love and protect you as much as I can

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